Blame Cannada

Firework curmudgeon

I might have a new opinion on fireworks as the parent of a 9-month-old.

For years, I viewed pyrotechnics as one of the only reasons to go outside during the oppressively hot month of July. Independence Day never ranked incredibly high on my preferred holiday chart, but its redeeming quality was always fireworks.


It’s the worst feeling in the world.

Your stomach drops to the floor. Your heart starts beating a mile a minute. The room begins to spin.

You slip into a deep, dark state of depression and anxiety.

All you can do is wait for the phone to ring.

Seriously, you need that phone to ring…because you’ve lost it.

How many Krispy Kremes?

Have you ever had one Krispy Kreme doughnut and thought, “I don’t want any more of those right now. One is all I needed.”?


Of course you’ve never said that because Krispy Kreme doughnut are delicious and you always want many more of them.

Ankle biters

I’ve always been a dog person.

For my eighth birthday, my parents bought me a Beagle puppy that turned out to be one of the greatest friends I’ve ever known. She was good natured, loved to play and had so much energy.

She was a great representative of her kind—an ambassador, if you will.

But they’re not all like her.

Protest or boycott

Some would argue boycotts and protests have no place in sports, but I’m about to suggest otherwise.

There is a egregious sin that is being committed, and we fans can no longer sit idly by and allow it to continue.

We must stand together, join forces and push back against the powers that be.

Royalty got me

No one needs this column I’m about to write.

(For those of you that just thought, “No one needs any column you write” —SHAME ON YOU!)

Enough words have been written about the royal wedding, and I promise you I never thought I would be a contributor to this topic.


Are we not bored of this LeBron debate?

Does it still interest you? It can’t possibly still interest you!

We’ve been having the same argument since 2003 when LeBron dared to take Michael Jordan’s jersey number.

Putt putt

Forgive me, y’all.

The following story is going to give you an inside look at my sinful nature. But if you stick around until the end, hopefully you’ll see that I’ve learned my lesson.


They go to work early. They stay late. They look after your children and spend countless hours finding ways to better educate them. They sacrifice time with their own families so they can spend time with yours.

We owe a lot to our teachers, and we should show them how much we appreciate them this week.


The Greer Citizen

317 Trade Street Greer, SC 29651

P.O. Box 70 Greer, SC 29652

Phone: 1-864-877-2076

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