Blame Cannada

Convoluted caucus

If you think this caucus stuff is moronic, you’re not alone.

Aside from the fact that no one cares about what happens in Iowa except during an election year, the actual voting process is absurd.


This is my favorite time of the year for sports, y’all.

College basketball is heating up, the Super Bowl is on its way and the NBA is starting to get interesting.

But, as anybody who reads this column knows, college hoops is my first love.

Tributes to No. 11

There’s no protocol for what happened at Greer last week. There’s no good way to deal with the loss of a student athlete. You shouldn’t have to go through this sort of thing in high school.

Kids shouldn’t have to be heartbroken over the loss of a friend or family member. Parents shouldn’t be burying their own children.

Spending a billion

Let’s be honest, we’re all dreaming about what we would do with our Powerball winnings. With the jackpot surpassing a billion dollars this week, I’ve started to compile my own list of plans for the money. Just for fun, here are a few:

1. I would go see any game I wanted, whenever I wanted.


Is this what my life has come to? Is this reality? Am I really about to root for Clemson in the national championship game?

I can’t believe this is something we’re talking about in early January—an undefeated, No. 1 Clemson team. It seems surreal.

This is a nightmare for Gamecock fans (I’m not one of those, by the way).

The piano

I’m not musically inclined.

I don’t know how to play any instruments (unless, of course, you’re counting the kazoo as an instrument…in which case, I am a beast at kazoo).


It’s hard for me to get emotional during movies.

Perhaps it’s because I’m analytical, but it’s a rare occasion when I get so caught up in what’s happening on screen that an emotional response is triggered.

Throw all of that out the window when Star Wars is involved.

Oh, grandma

Hold on, Grandma! You’re gonna have to give me a minute!”

Those were my words Saturday night as my beloved Tar Heels dropped a last-second loss to Texas on the road in disgusting fashion.


Clemson fans, you sit on a throne of lies!

Confetti fell, Dabo recited his victory speech during a post-game interview and DeShaun Watson performed the Heisman pose with the ACC Championship trophy…but it was all LIES.

You see, Clemson didn’t beat North Carolina on Saturday night.

The referees did.  

Calling it quits

Kobe Bryant is retiring, and he’s taking a big piece of my basketball-shaped heart with him.

I have to admit, when I heard this news a few days ago, I wasn’t shocked. Kobe has been a shadow of his former self these past few seasons, battling injury and suffering through some terrible years with some terrible teams.


The Greer Citizen

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P.O. Box 70 Greer, SC 29652

Phone: 1-864-877-2076

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