I'm Just Saying

I tend to be gullible. And as April Fool’s rolled around, I was beyond gullible because I fell for not one, but two hoaxes. One was an on-line ad in a horse magazine for a product which would benefit riders with “weak bladders and legs the length of gerbils who have difficulty remounting once out of the saddle.’

You learn very quickly with a houseful of critters that you will either have a clean, prettily-appointed home or you won’t.

And not only will you won’t, you’ll have the scars to prove it: scratched floors, stained rugs, a faintly chewed table leg and, most recently, a sofa that is hiding beneath three layers of protective drapes.

Those of you who have followed my column for the last couple of years will know of whom I speak when I mention the dear gentleman that I met, Junior, after delivering a Mobile Meal to him and then promptly backing into the culvert on the side of his driveway and finding the back wheel of my truck stuck fast.

Holy Cow! Paying a bribe of half a million bucks, far more than an entire education would actually cost, to get a kid into a top university?

Actually going along with a plot to photoshop your child’s head onto the body of a student athlete in order to gain access as a new tennis/soccer/crew recruit?

I’m not exactly sure how accurate it is, but there is a study that’s been floating around for about a year that declares teenage pregnancy, drinking, and drug use is at an all-time low, following years of decline.

All together now, parents: Whew!!

Perhaps like me you smiled and shared the photo on Facebook of ‘Good Samaritan’ Detric McGowan, posted by a grateful South Carolina troop of Girl Scouts after he bought all their cookies—over $500 worth—so that the children could get out of the wind and rain as evening descended.

It doesn’t bode well, I’m thinking, that our dogs knocked over my beloved small statue of St Francis in the front garden, situated where he can gaze protectively over the fields, resulting in his head being smashed against a rock and breaking off.

You should see Jordan cleaning all those little chick butts,” laughed Kelly at the feed store, as I turned to see where all the chirping was coming from.